In less than two weeks, finals will be welcoming me with open arms. I have to set my goal and focus on my priorities. For the last month, I know I have not been giving my best. Maybe it is also my body telling me to slow down, rest, enjoy, and slow down. So many things happened in the past month. I have attended my very first Law party, or party-manila-style in general. I had fun. Yes, I am not an alcoholic drink virgin anymore. I did not got wasted but I forgot all unnecessary things.
Then, my heart was broken by someone I never even dated. He doesn’t even know what he did to me. He doesn’t even see me that way, I suppose. For the nth time, I tell my friends that I am ok and I am moving on from that feeling. But now, I mean it. I don’t make someone my priority when I am not even his option. I am too much for that. I deserve better, no, I deserve the best.
I also received two of my midterm exams. I got 84 in Persons. I am happy with this, super. And when I thought I couldn’t be any happier, I just found out that I topped the class in our Political Law exam. 94. Gaaaad! 🙂 Thank you ever omniscient H-I-M! So there is really nothing to be sad about. I can’t have it all but I have everything that I need. I have my friends, the old and the new ones, and of course my family.
Everyone who loves me believes in me and this is the right time that I should believe in myself too. I would never delete Nanay and Tatay’s message showing me how much they appreciate my small accomplishments. JM, through his text, put out all the inhibitions that I have in myself. He told me he was proud of me and that we are one step closer to being a dean’s lister, this statement means so much to me. Being the low self-esteem person that I am, I need that constant re-assurance that I am on the right track. And JM used “we” because he knows that even if I tell myself (and him) that I am ok to be in the middle, at the deepest part of me, it is my frustration to make a certain list not everyone is entitled to. He knows how much it would mean to me after I did not graduated Laude with a mere .03 points. And he wants that for me. And, we don’t even see each other that often nowadays. Awesome best friend! 🙂
Finals week. Hell week. Whatever that week will be, I know God will guide me and our whole class. And with Krae, Hazel, Tel, Lexi, Credo, Anj and JP and the whole 1AA on this battlefield, I’m sure of our common victory. Game face on.