I was texting with him since weekend. And I know that something changed. There is no more “kilig” whenever I read his messages. Then I saw him and I was sure that I was really moving on from him. Yes, I was still uncomfortable seeing him with her but I got out of it alive and with no bitterness whatsoever, I am happy for them. Each time that I’ll see him smile when they are together, I know that he made the right choice and I am happy just to see him happy.
Then last night, I finally had the time for myself so I can think about everything that happened the last months. I was blinded to see that “we” are for each other, that “we” could have been it if only the timing was right, that “we” are good for each other. He will always be one of my best friends, he understands me even if I think he won’t and I can’t risk that kind of friendship for a wishful thinking which I am not even sure I want. You made me smile when no one was seeing I am sad and you will always be the best I never had. I am building up walls around my heart to save me now.
I woke up today and I saw the sunshine instead of the artificial light I forgot to turn off due to exhaustion. I saw how my dress fits perfectly on me rather than I gained weight because of finals week. I realized how much you really care for me as my friend instead of how I get “kilig” that you know me. I woke up today and I’m sure that you might be the right one but not the right one for me.
Wrong One, I will always be your friend and whatever you need as I am to all of my super friends. But I’ll stop chasing you and I know that the right one is on his way. =)