This is the longest depression I had regarding school. I have not always been the best student but I know how to manage my time and to work on my schedule to accomplish all I should accomplish. I thought I am doing the right thing. My grades shows that I am doing the right thing. Not until my prof on Negotiable Instruments Law bluntly said on my face that I am not studying and I should study. She was not contended, when I was about to answer, she told me “You actually know something? Really?”
Imagine, I am a dean’s lister. I haven’t failed any subject. Then someone would tell me that I actually do not know anything. I was literally crying the whole night after class. I started questioning if I am really mean for law school. Maybe, there is another path for me and I should consider looking at other options. Honestly, I am still not myself until now.
Unexpectedly, it was Bespren who comforted me the whole night. He made me realized how much I am worth and how I should not worry because there are a lot more hurtful comments that other people receive. He called and told me out of this world stories and laugh at his own jokes. He knows he can turn my emotions around. We are not exactly best friends right now, damn, I am not even sure where we are right now but he knows me so well. He knows when my text messages are i-need-a-friend-but-i-would-not-admit-it text messages. He knows how to approach me so that I will be comfortable telling how I feel. I fell asleep assured that there is one person who believes that I actually know something.
This is a lesson learned for me. I cannot please everybody. So, I just have to start studying Nego again in a different approach. Hopefully, I will be on the same page as my prof. I should not be so nega about these things also. I am still hurting but I am starting to be well again and ready to fight the world. Nego prof, we will see each other in court and I will ask you by then if you actually know anything! Beat that!