Nothing Comes Easy

I made a scene at our home last night. Seriously. I cried over Glee. Yuck, I know. I can justify all I want but it is really petty when you look at the situation as it is. But no,  not for me.

It is very rare that I got to watch TV. My cheap dorm does not provide for one so it is a luxury for me to watch my favorite series. Childish as it is, I set aside a portion of my Sunday just to watch Gossip Girl, Vampire Diaries and Glee. I have them alarmed on my BB so I won’t forget them. It is how attached I am to these tv shows. Then last night, after exhausting myself to memorize the Rules of Court, I asked my brother to switch the channel to ETC because it is already Glee. He refused. He was watching The Planet of the Apes. I told him he should have watched it before. He still refused. Just like that, I snapped. I went to the sala and my Tatay was watching  an old James Bond movie. That was it, I cried and cried and I put on my earphones. I don’t want to talk to any of them. Nanay saw me but I refused to talk.

You can call me the most childish person in the world. I don’t care.

Why can’t I get things easy? Yes, even the simple joy of watching Glee. Whenever I come home, I envy my brother because he gets to stay with our parents. He need not worry if he will be waken up by his alarm. He goes to school full with breakfast and comes home with dinner ready. He has a comfortable place to study. I have nothing. I usually double alarm my phone to make sure I will wake up to get ready for work and school. I don’t do breakfast. I just over eat during lunch. And dinner means siomai and fried chicken from ministop forever and ever. Owie needs not to think about his allowance because I do that for him. Plus a lot of other things.

Don’t get me wrong, I love doing things for them. Given a chance I will play the same role over and over again. I just feel like I deserve not to be questioned when I want simple things. I want to hear  “Sige Ate” after I command “ilipat mo sa ETC, manonood ako ng glee.” And just like that, I missed another episode of Glee just like I am missing out a lot of things in my life.

Forgive me world for being this childish, I have never been one.

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