Bye

There is really a problem with the semantics of English words. Yes, I have the authority to question that big of a problem. Why would you put a good in goodbye when there is really nothing good in it? Saying goodbye is letting go and letting go is moving on and moving on is not good. Most often than not, people give sympathy to those who are leaving and few attention to those who are left behind. There is still more than a month left before this year ends and I have been left behind for so many times. Being left behind goes beyond physically departing from someone. You know, you can spend the whole day and night so close to each other and yet you are really light years apart. That is the hardest.

Yes people, we are all going through rough times. I can enumerate all the problems that I have from the pettiest to those which will change my entire life. But life is always easier when you get to sigh and cry with the persons whom you trust the most. Reality check, you are left behind. Now I know that it is not the distance or the physical absence that matters. You say goodbye when you stop caring and loving the person like the way you used to. Reality check again, many people whom I value so much just stopped caring for and loving me the way that they used to. *cry* *cry* *cry*

The whole world does not start and end with me, I know. People grow up and grow old and like new things. It is just sad that you have drawn and plot your whole life with those people only to find out that you are just an ordinary stop in their oh so exciting life. I have my own share of outgrowing and pushing away too. I have those moments where I just want to start my whole life alone and forget every one. If you really know me well, I am satisfied with simple text messages, few pambobola, random i-miss-you and a reassurance that I still am what I am in your life. The harsh words I usually utter when I don’t like what is happening is a strong affirmation of my love for the person. And if you really know me, you should know when my okay is really an okay and when an okay is an okay ako kasi kailangan ko maging okay. I must say, very few people can read the difference between those.

Right now, I feel left alone. I don’t belong anywhere. I’m just a stray of light in a very bright sunshiny day.

 

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