Hello from Laguna! First thing first, I am really enjoying the time I got to spend here in Bae with my family and the extended ones. It is no everyday that I have the time to spend more than 2 days in a row with them. There is one thing that I realize in this time of lent though- a own for forgiveness is hard but realizing on our own that we hurt another person is harder.
I have always loved the extended family more than I love myself. Each one of them is an intricate part of my support system which made me stand up in Imy every downfall. Break-up is never easy. It makes me want to end my life . But losing the persons you spend your whole life with is devastating. Ending your life would be easy but having to spend it knowing you lose some important people without really wanting to lose them is a pain I have to endure everyday.
This time of thinking and breathing from the busy life, I learned and realized that everything has changed in my sanctuary, in our home. This has been going one for the more than a year now and it took me that long to accept that fact. With that acceptance, I learned also to let go of the additional baggage it causes me. I love them but I got to love myself more. I need to give myself that healing. Whatever the truth is, I know that I did not do something wrong. Maybe, my choice of inaction is not a wrong thing after all.
I am not investing on too much sadness anymore. The baggage would be too heavy. It is never wrong to love myself more.