Thursdays are really special on our friendship. The best things and the worst things always happen on a Thursday. Yesterday, I sent you a very casual text to meet up. With your one liner replies, I was convinced that, like the past five months, you would turn me down. The contrary happened. We met up and had a crazy good laugh.
I have to give myself a tap on the back for a job well done because I managed to ask you the questions I have been dying to ask since our falling apart. In fairness to you, you are very generous in giving answers.
“Na-attach na kasi ako sayo.”
“Kung na-attach ka sakin eh di sana hindi mo ko ika-cut off ng ganun na lang.”
His reasons are personal. I don’t know if they justified everything but those reasons relieved me of the pain. Because I believe that we are really bespren, I totally understand where he is coming from. Then he asked me one question that I have been asking myself for weeks now, “pero ngayon, may tama ka pa?”
“Hindi ko alam. Hindi naman kasi kita nakikita. Pero ngayon na nagkita na tayo, wala na.”
And I am not lying. A part of me, a part that I gave to him, will always love him for the rest of my life. But when I saw him last night, I know that I have moved on, even when he flashed his sweetest smile and danced to Gentleman. Now, I know the reason that he has to cut me off. And since I already know these reasons, I have no business texting or calling him or asking him for bamboo nights. He made a decision and as a true friend, I respect him.
Things would have been different if timing was on our side. But it wasn’t. As Robin Scherbatsky put it, “if you already have chemistry, you only need one thing- timing. but timing is a bitch.” Anyway, it doesn’t matter now. He gave me the closure I long wanted. He is a friend enough to give that to me. I need to be a friend enough to respect his decision.