I am at the middle of a work day, drinking ice tea in my office, listening to Take That’s Back for Good. Seems an ordinary day. It was an ordinary day until I realized that I have two exams this week, that I am expecting to know if I’ll end this 5 year journey in the next month or so, and yet here I am trying to maintain my office face on.
A friend told me that second semester will be a little more kind than first semester until you reach that day when you realize that you will be part of the deliberations. And it came a little early for me, it came today. I do not know what I can do to convince the delibs panel that I’m worth it. Gaaaaah, I am even having trouble telling myself that I am worth it. I want to stay calm and look at the bright side of things but I am failing miserably. I just want things to fast forward. I do not like the feeling of not knowing how things are going to turn out.
Right now, I can only pray and ask God for His blessing and His unending grace. The pressure is so real, I need a hug.