Surviving?

Hello the superwoman? I have not seen you in months. Maybe, one of the longest time that I find peace in not logging in, having real conversations and living life in my normal abnormal way.

I have survived the five years of battle. G day was over! There are a lot of thank yous that are still unsaid, appreciations which are kept and promises yet to be fulfilled. I always thought that bringing L, L and B together at the end of my name would be one of the sweetest ending I’ll ever experience, well for a moment it is, but the pressure that comes with it, killing me to the bones. I realized that what really counts is putting together A, T, T, Y, and period and the start of my name. Nevertheless, I could not thank God enough for the wonderful blessing and the unending grace He bestowed upon me. I have a whole page of thank you speech but I think that this is not yet the right time. But I am sharing this picture below, because I want to share the happiness I felt during this day.

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Probably, if you are familiar to this kind of journey, you would know what would be the next battle that I have to face. I am getting ready for it. First, I left my job which I have learned to love. I am a full time tambay. Nah. I am a full time soldier getting ready for the war. Second, I have surrounded myself with the best support system. Most days of the week, I am home. It is a lot better here knowing that everyone trusts me and they are all willing to go to war with me.

Let me sideline a bit, when I was in that period before delibs results were posted, I was comforted by a friend. Same friend that I have mentioned in my post earlier this year. So this friend, I am very certain that we are just friends, from both ends of the equation. What is stupid is I made him my go to person during this time. That person you ask anything under the sun, even the silly, senseless questions. Weird because I started questioning what this is all about. There are hints, clues, answers, unspoken things, spoken things which are way too much to blog about, but never the things I was looking for. Why is he even mentioned here? Pffft. Right now, stop overthinking self. Or maybe everything he is doing is what K did too and I am thinking that I missed that. Again, stop overthinking self.

This will be the last time I am saying that out loud (out on world wide web). I need to focus my energy on the most important battle of this journey. Everyday, I am praying, praying really hard, that at the end of it all, I will be healthy, ready and worthy of it.

Surviving? Surviving!

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